Tu fui, ego eris
by ChocoCookiesMe
Summary: A collection of mini 100-word and one-sided Aura/Metis drabbles set before the events of the UR-1 and leading up to the aftermath of it. It is written in Aura's point of view, first-person. Updated sporadically. Art credit: haxie (tumblr)
1. Chance Encounter

She smiled and waved; a simple action of greeting: meaningless and perfectly ordinary. There was nothing so complicated about it.

But I felt wrong.

Of all the things it could have been, I felt my blood rush and my heart thump. Of everyone in the space, my eyes rested on her. And I knew that she was someone I would never have, could never have. Maybe someone similar, but not them.

I felt different; strange, if a little out of place in society. The predicament continued to plague my mind; nagging and gnawing at me. The dream would never be. Ever.


	2. Real

She was not a figment of my imagination. She was real and alive, a person with feelings and character, a human.

The little gestures were small and friendly, the conversations we shared were quite pointless as well.

Yet, I kept coming back. Perhaps it was a need for more of her. Her presence and her beauty left me paralysed and my mind drew a blank.

It was stupid and childish, of course, but she captivated me; her face constantly remained on the forefront of my mind.

I saw her again today, her chocolate brown eyes met mine, and she quickly turned away and went back to her work.

I did not know why I smiled so much whenever I was around her. But I knew that I could never forget her.


	3. Yearning

She is a mere girl with no understanding of the world; it is because you keep her sheltered and away from the harshness of reality. She is your daughter, and from what I gathered from you today, she was given the name 'Athena'.

Yet she does not resemble you at all. Her bright hair and eyes were a blinding light of insanity in the lab, I was much more content with your peaceful gazes, rather than your daughter's dead stare.

I see you look at her with your calm and careful gaze. I yearn for you to look at me like that. I yearn for the love I have never received – ever.

I should not be jealous. It is such a useless emotion that brings unwanted and unnecessary pain. But I do not love broadly, I love specifically, and you are special the way you are.

I cannot read minds but I know that you will never have me being the way I am.

Besides...You had conceived a child with a man, and I am a woman. Which would you value higher?


	4. Understanding

There's only one person who truly understands me in this cold, bleak world.

It is you.

All the conversations we share have an ounce of truth in them; things we would tell no one but each other are kept under lock and key. We have hardly argued on account of such small, idiotic and petty things, instead, they disappear from our minds almost immediately.

The conversations occasionally turn into logical debates; structured and professional, not childish. And sometimes, whenever you are free, in a good mood, too, we play those mindless games on the computer or mark out the errors on our blueprints.

You are trying to play a game with me, and it's not working because I'm already madly in love with you.


	5. Beauty

You are so beautiful.

The way you turn your lips up in a smile, lazily and gently; it's enough to make me want to grab you by the hands and kiss you.

The softly spoken words addressed to no one in particular – yet imagination can give us what we long for.

Somehow, somewhere in this cold, barren and cruel world, I found you. You complete me and have made me whole again. You are the "me" I've been searching for in the last thirty years of my life.

I seldom speak of the heart or of feelings as it is hardly useful to do so but believe me when I say this:

I love you.


	6. Blame

I never really paid much attention to how much I talk about you. It happens unconsciously; to speak of someone you love or have a close relationship with…I'm clouding my view with feelings and that's never a good sign.

It backfired.

Simon, my dear brother, asked about your degree in Psychology among other questions, it was almost like an interrogation. He _is _a prosecutor, after all, I cannot blame him for it.

I blame myself for it. I always have. Infatuations are so pointless in the first place until you start to actually experience the "horror" of love and its crude social views.

Love.

Just what purpose does it serve – to leave us broken-hearted?

I have no doubt in my mind that you'll understand me, and if not, at least acknowledge me.


	7. Missing

It shouldn't affect me, however it does.

You spend most of your time in your – our – lab and work until the dead of night with Simon. You immerse yourself in the many books, papers and documents he gives you. Occasionally I see tape recorders and I question the many reasons as to why he has enlisted in your help.

He seems to have taken a shine to you. I'm not that surprised that you were willing to help him, just as you always are.

But I miss you; the laughter, the secrets and our many ideas.

I wonder when we will build our "children" rather than draw up blueprints and create prototypes. Soon, I hope.


	8. Orion

We had been on the roof of the space centre yesterday evening; it was a little after you had put Athena to bed and I was initiating a conversation about something work-related. You appeared to take no interest and I realised that you had not been listening so I awkwardly closed my mouth and said nothing.

We remained lying on our blankets in silence until you pointed out a star in the sky and told me that it was called Orion.

What you had meant by that star was "love", but for who and why did you mention it to me?


	9. Nothingness

Athena…Athena… It's all for her, isn't it?

I'm merely a waste of space and time. I'd rather be written off as less than nothing.

Nevertheless, I don't want to be.

I just cannot tell you, no matter how hard I try, it'll never be. My fantasies are nothing but illusions and all I do is indulge in them; it's pathetic and I am weak-willed.

I'm so unlike Simon, who so easily manages to communicate with you and share his thoughts, feelings, desires and temptations. And Athena is always on your mind. Even the tiniest of movements you make represents her; gestures, little things and even passing comments.

I am non-existent here, just as I always been – just as I always will be.


End file.
